And so it begins...

 

Today I stepped on the scale, saw the number and thought nothing of it.  I'm not yet to a place where I am counting down those last few pounds and know exactly how much I weigh.  Far from it.  Really far from it.  The nice Weight Watchers lady tapped on her computer and said to me, "you're up 0.6lbs, were you expecting that?"

Was I expecting that?

I paused before answering, "no."  I say "no," because the question she is really asking is, "did you not follow the plan or did you cheat a bit too much at graduation/Memorial day parties and so you expected to gain weight?"  The answer to that is a resounding, "no!"

I went to the rabbit show all weekend but I chose the baked chicken breast salad at McAlistor's when we ate out, using less than 1/2 of the dressing.  I ate some of the concession's pulled pork (just pork roast baked in a slow cooker, I know, we did the concessions) on a salad with some added bbq, not nachos w/cheese goo and pork and all the rest.  I ate a total of 2 potato chips.  Not 2 servings, not 2 handfuls, 2 actual chips.  The rest of the time I ate what I had packed.  I carefully tracked and logged every single thing I ate all week long.  Yes, all of it.  I did not exceed my daily or weekly allotment, in fact, had left over weekly "points," the Weight Watcher's food counting mechanism.

So, no, I didn't do anything "wrong" that would have led to weight gain.

And yet, I am not surprised.

Because the real answer to "were you expecting that?" is "yes."  I expect to do everything right and fail.  Is this a horrible failure? No.  Is it somehow my fault? Probably not.  Am I disappointed? Most definitely.

You see, I was expecting that, just not so soon.  I thought maybe I could go a few more weeks, or maybe, maybe even a month or two before I saw that backslide that my body does to me.  I wanted more than one success before failure.

This is when I must persevere.  I can't throw in the towel yet.  I must plod along, doing what I know I should, and hope that things will get better.  Hope that this time I won't plateau at an 8lb weight loss and be unable to move forward no matter what I do, no matter what I eat, no matter what supplement the doctor suggests.  I will keep going and going and some day, some day, things will work out.

I must believe that so I will.